GRACE ERASED
There are bits and pieces of things I remember from my early childhood I remember even today. I lived with my grandparents and my mother. I know nothing about my biological father, except he never married my mother.
Yes, the 50’s were rather merciless. Girls were “disowned” or “sent away” for having a child out of wedlock. Then there was the absolutely barbaric practice of labeling a completely innocent child “illegitimate” or “bastard.” Today parents sometimes do even worse if a child is gay or is Trans.
As a child I could not understand what an innocent child could have done to deserve such treatment or what could justify a parent rejecting their own child. I still don't. That isn't love.
You can probably guess what I think of the Catholic doctrine of Original Sin. I have enough understanding of science to know guilt cannot be genetically transferred, and any god so unjust as to assign shame to a child not capable of willful sin is not worthy of my worship.
It is a fact that small children have no psychological defense against negative messages. They tend to accept things at face value. Sure, you eventually learn, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”, but the defense is not something you come into life equipped with, nor does it heal emotional damage already done. Some people never learn it. Words, attitudes, and even body language can easily harm a small child.
I am very sorry that I could not have had a child. The desires were there. I think though the desire I have the most was to have given my child the love I did not receive. Whether she was lesbian, trans, or straight she would be my daughter and she would be loved. Either love is unconditional, or it isn’t love.
Somehow, I don’t think Jesus would condemn me over the circumstances of my birth. I don’t think He wanted my mother to live a life full of guilt either. Punishment doesn’t fix things, grace does.
Trouble is, many of us have the need to see “bad guys” get their due, even if conflicts with God’s mercy. Jonah had this problem. The Ninevites were sinful and deserved punishment, no question. God wished to show mercy, but Jonah did not want that to happen. Sounds a lot like some Christians today.
Why do we impose limits on God’s grace? More importantly, why don’t we have the love for others that God has for us?
