Thoughts
My mind is usually most active when I first get out of bed. There is this sweet spot between dreaming and getting into my daily activities when I am more imaginative than at other times,
Its been a while since I have written on this blog but today seems to be an opportunity that would be wrong to pass up. Even accounting for the Covid situation I have been more introverted than normal.
I feel hurt, disappointed, angry, and hopeless. Forgive me. I am both starving for human contact and wanting to hide from others because I am hurting. I am thoroughly disappointed with “God” and “church” at a time when so many are turning to their personal faith for comfort.
Yes, I am struggling with my faith. This does imply though that I still have some. It would be easier if I had no faith to struggle with. You didn’t really think faith doesn’t require any thought, did you? I am always trying to reconcile the promises with my experiences.
God said it is not good for man to be alone. Even introverts figure this one out without help. So now we have Covid to make sure people who are cursed with being alone will remain cursed. God is love, which is why “Christians” hate the poor, racial and sexual minorities.
But I do what I was born to do, ask questions. If I were your minister, you would need to prepare for the tough questions I would ask you each week. No cheating. You’re not getting the questions in advance. It wouldn’t do you any good if you did. Not to worry. He doesn’t grade on the curve. What I would want is for you to get used to not having the answers and needing to ask the right questions. I don’t like it either, but its all I have got.