Happy Xmas

Its that time of the year when communities across the US prepare for the beloved holiday tradition, arguing over public Christmas displays, the use of Xmas instead Christmas, and "Merry Christmas" vs "Happy Holidays"; you know, the alleged "war against Christmas".

Well, as my generation used to say, "suppose they gave a war and nobody came". What if instead of ostentatious public displays and politics, christians worshiped Christ by extending His love to the friendless and unattractive, helped those in need, showed their faith by their love for others, without drawing attention to themselves.

What would happen is that God would be glorified. I don't think Atheists would have anything to complain about either.

Lopsided

Recently I read a blog that made the point that the songs we sing in our assemblies have almost exclusively shifted from songs of encouragement to songs of praise. I am not sure why it has happened or what to make of it, but it seems to me there is no reason why encouragement should not be included in the corporate worship. After all, it is only logical that if we are going to praise God, it is only reasonable that we remind ourselves why.

Just why is our worship so lopsided?  There are times I would desire a heartfelt song about a God who came through in a time of trouble or something that speaks directly to our heart. Could it be we prefer worship that doesn’t get too close to our personal relationship with God? “Just as I am”, physically and mentally imperfect. Not even feeling acceptable to myself sometimes., in the very center of God’s love. That’s something to sing about, but we don't very often do we?

Do you really want to know why we have trouble attracting membership? Its because people do not see any need for church, or at least what it has come to mean in our culture. Those who do seek God's mercy rarely find a place where it is offered.

I attend an accepting congregation, for which I am thankful. Yet part of me would prefer a congregation of those who know how knowing Christ has changed their lives and who are not afraid to sing about it.

The Big Question

Many years ago shortly after becoming a Christian I met someone by the name of Colleen. Every Sunday morning I looked forward to seeing her smiling face at church. It was not hard to tell she loved Jesus. Considering Colleen was born with Cerebral Palsy I always considered her faith quite amazing.

Many people have shown their faith in the midst of hardship and disadvantage. Of course not everybody does. The same situation that would cause one person to be thankful would turn another bitter. Even after all these years I would love to understand what made Colleen the lovely person she was. How was she able to be thankful under her circumstances?

Sure it a point of view. You either lean the secret of being thankful or you go through life feeling cheated. No matter how strong your faith is, resentment will destroy it sooner or later, or at least make it worthless. And if God had given me the life I wanted I would be happy. Well, that's what I tend to believe even if it isn't true. God may know better.

The Swamp of Dispair

One notion I have found curious is that there is no adequate term to describe where my spiritual life is at the moment. Atheist/Agnostic describes someone who does not believe in a Supreme Deity. Then of course there is the opposing term "believer". Yet what sort of term is there for someone who does not deny the existence of God, yet has come to believe that while God is "there",  He is definitely not "here".

I remember my early faith. Certainly not a mature one, but intense. Just because one is in an emotional/ spiritual "high", it doesn't mean it is wrong. Of course I do not have to elaborate the downside.

Has God failed me? I really do not know. All I can say is that at the moment church just seems like a chore. The singing has little meaning, the lessons are often too generic and the studies can be attempts at forceably squeezing 45 seconds of material into 30 min of time. Then again, just how many people who are deeply suffering really have a desire to learn about Melchizedek. Sorry but its the pragmatism in me that makes me want things to be somewhat relevant to my situation

I will not deny that most if not all of this is due to my current living situation. Along with crap I have to face daily, mostly by myself, I have struggled to keep my faith alive and must reluctantly admit defeat. The thing is that I have no idea where to go from here.

 Forcing myself to go through the motions doesn't work. Having "feelings" for God isn't everything, but doing without it is too much. I am not sure there is a way out of this pit I am in.

I am not trying to make a point nor have I made it through trial at this time. I may not. I don't know. Also it should be rather obvious that I not in a position to accurately evaluate my situation. Depression = Yes, Resources = limited/ exhausted. Viewpoint of God and faith = distorted, Isolation from others = most definitely, ability to praise God in adversity = you've got to be kidding.

I wish the church was different, but I also wish I were different. Maybe I just wanted a few things I need to say

The Last Day

I woke up this morning, like many mornings, having fallen asleep with the TV on. There was a movie about a guy who was looking for a friend to share the end of the world with. Just sort of made me think what I would want to do if I knew the world would end tomorrow.

There is no right or wrong answer of course. Finding a friend to face the end with sounds like a great idea. Of course I am sure there would be people who would choose to gather at the church. No doubt there would be a worship like none other.

I don't know. Sometime its just fun kicking around odd ideas, but sometimes too it seems that occasionally I awake in a state of clarity about things my subconscious has been attempting to communicate to me. Sometimes I get answers to problems, other times like today I get more questions. Sometimes I get to see the weaknesses of my faith. Its good though that my mind enjoys asking questions though. Its the only way I know to find answers

Gospel 2.O

     I think is long past the time God issued an upgrade to the Bible. It should be in English and it should answer all the questions we have been arguing over since whenever such as.

What is the place of women in the Church?

What about Abortion, Birth Control, and Homosexuality.
Should all LGT ppl be fired from their jobs and thrown out of their homes.

When Paul said women should be silent in the church.was he,

1. Addressing a local problem

2. Stating a fundamental  principle

3 Being a misogynistic jerk?

God really needs to answer all these things. Culture changes and we really cannot know for certain how things in 33 AD  apply to us today. God should explain. Then you are either in agreement with God or on a Handbasket Express trip to ..well you know. We would no longer need Pat Robertson or some other dufus.

Maybe we are not as helpless as it seems. When Jesus came on the scene things changed. It was no longer about keeping rules and regulations. With Jesus mercy trumped rules. Being righteous suddenly meant having God live inside of us.No need for translators. Through the Holy Spirit we are the translators of God's will. Our goal then is to empty ourselves of everything that isn't from God. That of course too large of a job to allow us time for all the other stuff.

Sharing

I was in a study this week when I started to laugh to myself. We were talking about talking to others about Christ. Suddenly I felt like we were more like a sales meeting at used car dealership than a church. I was trying to imagine under just what circumstances I would feel comfortable laying this longwinded spiel we usually refer to as “the gospel” on anyone, especially someone I didn’t know. Perhaps some of it was my own difficulty in dealing with others, but the whole thing sounded way too artificial.

Let us be honest. We live in a country where the majority of people claim to “believe” in God, whatever that means. There are is no shortage of churches in the US. To make matters worse, there are times when atheists and non-believers put us to shame with their grasp of what true spirituality is, or should be.

Before we even consider sharing our faith with others we must be sure that it is authentic.  Without a personal relationship with Christ we have nothing to share. Forget the formulas and the preprogrammed responses. I can talk about what God’s grace means to my life much more enthusiastically  than I ever could the tired recitations we have all heard before. You never know exactly what the other person needs to hear. The Holy Spirit does.

Joy

It was a bad day and it started going downhill fast. I suppose at some place I should have seen where things were going and just let go of the imagined grievances that were multiplying moment by moment. I believed God had it in for me and I was going to complain until someone somewhere would listen and grant me justice.

  God can take it, but I can't. I was exhausted. Yes it was a foolish thing to do. God is not someone I could haul before a judge and win my complaint. Yes, I had been under a great deal of stress and one could argue to hold it in would not be good. Yet I was a fool and only the intensity of my emotions kept me from realizing it.

I needed peace. I was ready to surrender to being a victim one more time. If only there were something I could do that would bring me joy for just a little while. What could I do? Where could I go?

I received an answer. I remembered. The only time I have ever felt joy was when I received it from God. There was joy when I became a Christian. There was joy when I saw that God could bless others through me. There was joy when God reached into my life in place too isolated for anyone to reach.

The whole incident is probably best forgotten. I know, there will be other days like this. Perhaps there is no reason why I should have written this down for others to see. One extreme emotional state is just as unreliable as another, and just as meaningless.But maybe I owe it to God to confess my sin. Maybe I need a reminder that God is merciful, even when I do not deserve it or recognize it.

I'm not in control

Recently I went through a period where I felt that everything was out of control. The details of the situation aren't important, but after my feelings settled down I came to the conclusion that I had been right. Everything was out of control. It still is. Yet the error had been to believe things have ever been under control.

Were my life really in control I would be a 35 year old genetic female instead of 62. I would have a daughter and I would not be living alone. My financial situation would be good. I am really not sure just why I am not allowed to "play God" for a day and apply the needed corrections.

There is so much I could do. Certainly I wouldn't think only of myself. I have friends who would benefit from my intervention. Wouldn't it be good if they had new cars instead of the marginally functional vehicles they now own? Why should they suffer when I could do something to prevent it?

Ok, I see where this is going. Becoming "Deb Almighty" would be a mistake, even were it possible. Absolute power and all of that. Only God can "play God", and not make any mistakes. Maybe the "out of control" times are there to remind me what happens when I try to control things I really cannot. Maybe there is a need to be reminded at times that I need to turn to God for comfort and not my own wisdom.