I woke up 30 min ago. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, I turned on the light over kitchen sink and sat down at my computer, This was a time when I could feel the darkness closing in on me and it felt like sleep was my enemy.
It had been a most depressing Sunday, and my anxieties were still in control. I looked around on Youtube and ran into someone who was asking the very same question as I was. Why is it we never seem to acknowledge suffering in church.
Bible study has value of course, but today was another day I sat in church feeling isolated from what was going on. I could almost wish I was with a group of early Christians, in a cave hiding from Roman soldiers. At least we would all be concerned about the same things and be looking to each other for strength.
Church is a lonely place for me. It just seems sometimes there is nothing being said that can reach me where I am at. This makes me feel even more isolated. Is this my fault? Could be, I don't know.
Amy Grant has a wonderful song where she sings about the total trainwreck of a day she is having, but the way she does it is a beautiful expression of faith. You mean God could actually be waiting at the bottom of my pit of despair if I were willing to look for Him? Funny we never talk about stuff like that.
