Memories

 Memories

I was born in October 1951. Even at my current age there is a great deal I remember about the time. There was McCarthyism, overt racism, and a Church of Christ much different from what it is now.

There were these filmstrips I called “dink dink movies” (because of the tones used to synchronize the filmstrip with the audio track). There were these 5 steps you had to go through to be a Christian. Don’t know what would happen if you forgot a step or got them out of order. Its how I think. 

They called it the Holy Ghost instead of the Holy Spirit. Yes, it was called an “it”. They never explained what it did, but they were very adamant about what it didn’t do. I am sure you can imagine what I thought  as a child. Was its name Casper?

I will tell you a secret. Even small children remember things that stay with them forever. For me there were the inconsistencies. A vivid memory of my grandmother condemning a girl at church who got pregnant. I am sure the girl didn’t need my grandmother to tell her she made a mistake. I am also sure compassion would have been better than being shamed.

That was the way pregnant girls were treated. They were “sent away” or completely disowned by their families. Some of the girls commited suicide. Some had “coat hanger abortions”. Oh, you wouldn’t want to be the child either. Trust me, I know. Some of the objections of birth control was that the girls wouldn’t have to suffer for their sins. Couldn’t have that, could we?  Doesn’t matter how much you suffer though, God loves you.

I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I grew up thinking I had done something to make God mad at me. Anytime something went wrong I believed it was God punishing me. God invents sin, finds everyone guilty, threatens them with Hell, but again He loves you. So much better if there wasn’t a God to begin with.

Things changed. The Church of Christ changed, and most important, I changed. I embraced being transgendered and I have some good church friends. God accepts who I am and of course He knew about it all along. I just had to accept Him.

Does the Bible say anything about being transgendered. Nothing I know of, but that doesn’t stop some people. Just pick a few verses out of context, ignore basic grammar or contrary verses and you too can be an official Gatekeeper of the Faith. Don’t want to let the wrong kind of people in, do we? Yes, Jesus died for our sins, but only for those of us who deserve it. We get salvation the old fashioned way, we earn it.  

I don’t know. I am not a bible scholar and I cannot tell you if the claims of scriptural error are true or not. The word homosexual did not appear in scripture until recent times. Funny, I didn't see the scripture where God destroyed Sodom because Sally moved in with Jane.  Looked for a "Thou shalt not" for being transgendered but never found one. Its real easy to make something up though.

Will just go with what I know. I'm looking for mercy, not judgment. Not just for me, but everyone who needs it. I didn't say deserve because sometimes I don't.