Last week

Last Week

            Genki Desu Ka? That means “How are you?”, in Japanese. The truth is, I am trying to figure out how I feel. My mind is blocking the full extent of my emotions at the moment.

            Wednesday started out as a good day. I had lunch with my minister and some other people. I was rather pleased with myself that I had taken me 45 seconds to unlock a child’s tablet that had been found at church and find the email address of the owner. Elementary school, my dear Metz, Elementary school.

            After I returned home, the day proceeded to take a nosedive into despair. An online story about a transwoman immigrant beaten to death while in ICE custody. No mention on the major news. No one cared, except family and me.

            I cried for over an hour, and if it were not for a problem with my computer that required a total wipe and reload of everything it would have been longer. I am still crying inside. I feel like I am the only person in this world that even cares. Yes, it’s kind of about how introverts feel when something from the outside penetrates our inner barriers.

            Does God care? Right now, I have to admit that I don’t think so. Why did He allow that grievous abomination Donald Trump to become president? Why does God continue to allow the Religious Right to inflict itself on the innocent? Why should I love a God like this? My mind is running through everything from C. S. Lewis, every movie, TV show, and anything else I can to find an answer.

            There is something else that bothers me. I am basically nonpolitical, or at least I am 99% of the time. There is a person at church who is to me a prime example of why I hate politics. He glories in Trump, yet Trump hates transpeople. I am a real live transwoman. Does that mean the guy at church hate me or is he just a mindless follower who really doesn’t care what his buddy does, ignoring the person in front of him. Politics, where people who Jesus gave His life for become valueless ciphers.



            Just one more thing, as Columbo would say. I wonder what would happen if I asked the church for prayers over what has happened. I don’t want to be political, but I am supposed to be a child of God. We are supposed to care for what God cares about.